Hey Hey Hello!

I love Parker Posey. And I love her despite the fact she made me say “Broken English is a gem!” No, it is…and I say this despite the fact that "director" Zoe Cassavettes totally ripped off her own daddy’s flick, Minnie and Moskowitz.  Was I the only loser who noticed this? But, really, anyone could have directed this movie and John Cassavettes was just some fat fuck from Long Island who lucked out by landing Gena…So, Broken English stars Parker Posey, New York City, and Paris. Parker Posey is bigger and better than those two dirty cities combined. I’m officially the president of her fan club. Peter Falks is the treasurer and Ben Gazzarra is the secretary. Email me for details.  SWAK, Rock Hard

Chick Flick Haiku #5

my husband's not gay

so shut up anne bancroft and

hang up your toe-shoes

Doo Diligence #1 (or how I stole your email message and made it my film review)

"...I thought of you last night while watching International Velvet. What a seriously messed up film that is. First there are scenes of Tatum O'neil running with the horse on the beach like they are lovers and then a scene with the horse IN the passenger cabin acting up, so they shoot it mid-flight. Thank God I was not high! But it had the actress who was in The Stepford Wives who goes around at the garden party saying "If I don't get this recipe, I'll just die." Me and my gay brother used to say that line to each other as kids..."

(Thank you anonymous worker at some large and lame research museum type place that's free but you pay a lot for parking...Really nice garden though...and the gift shop? Divine. Join the museum today and get 10% off your purchase.) xo, Rock Hard