Someone I was in love with many moons ago recently reminded me to
remember Kramer vs. Kramer…When I began remembering, I remembered it was a
movie I took my first girl friend to see…I think…I think we were girlfriend and
boyfriend and I think I bought her a Smurf key chain and I’m pretty sure I took
her to the Mineola movie theater to see a second run of it for 99 cents…I'm pretty sure it was my idea...It was so
full of good and yummy adult themes…I don’t even think we understood what
divorce was and I’m pretty sure neither of us had any kind of relationship with
our daddies…I could be wrong …I don’t think me and Karen dated again although we
might have gone roller skating…Maybe I bought her a Smurf mug…Maybe she knew I
was gay way back in the fifth grade…What happened to her? Same goes for Dustin Hoffman’s idiot child in
Kramer vs. Kramer…Why would he fight for that?
Why did he marry Meryl? Does
anyone now remember Jane Alexander? Well,
here we are all grown up and stupid and we’re all suffering from the sad and
pathetic effects of divorce…My parents are still
together…Fuck me…FUCK YOU! Go eat some white
ice cream while you taunt your daddy Dustin before sinking fast into acting
oblivion…You deserve it…And an Oscar…or a nomination…Dude, I can’t believe you
got an Oscar nomination for crying in front of Dustin Hoffman. And to think I used to listen to that song Reminiscing
by The Little River Band, imagining me and Karen married, so many years later,
walking through the park and reminiscing…I wish Karen had kicked me in the
nuts back then and done some real physical and psychological damage, ‘cause
right now I just feel stupid and things seem awesomely hazy. Facebook me, Karen…Sadly, Rock Hard.
