JK Simmons hates you…I hate him because he was in Juno and I
really hate him for his “oscar” acceptance speech for some assholey movie about
fucking jazz. JAZZ??? Are you fucking kidding me? White people teaching young white people how
to play jazz? I’m dying here… White girls
not
getting abortions? Where’s Jennifer
Jason Leigh when you need her? Come on
folks, really…JK Simmons has a face I want to return defective to our all
mighty creator…Someone should have put that face on hold…I’m not saying his
mommy should have aborted him…But if she had, I would not have had to listen to
his stupid mother fucking, ass licking (oh wait, ass licking is good)…um…Scum
sucking…wait…uh…Fart smelling “oscar” acceptance speech…I remember hearing it and having that same feeling I had after watching Juno…You know, like my testes were shriveling to
tiny little dry raisins, disappearing into my lower intestines…Never to return…
Now,
what I was I saying?…”oscar” acceptance speach…Ah, to be accepted…To feel loved
by the academy…JK Simmons looks like he’d euthanize his folks, thank you very
much…Assuming his mommy and daddy even talk to him anymore…What a dick and
a half…Juno? Get pregnant but as long as
you have a doughy white boyfriend and happy parents, just give that precious
and vulnerable gooey precious angel away and get on with your stupid guitar playing white
life with your fat boyfriend…Sing it away, sister – don’t feel a thing – real
feelings are not required here and some of us don’t have your cushy white life
and all your honesty and understanding folks and teachers and the one person in
the film who mentioned you could consider getting an abortion was mysteriously
middle easterny, minority-y or something or other-y…ness…You know? Get it?
I don’t even think the word “abortion” was uttered in this movie, directed
by the son of some awful Hollywood director…oh, back to JK Rowling…I mean, Simmons…Dude,
you actually said this while accepting an academy award for a crappy movie I
will happily never see and most certainly never love:
“…Call your mom, call your dad. If you’re lucky
enough to have a parent or two alive on this planet, call ‘em. Don’t text.
Don’t email. Call them on the phone. Tell ‘em you love ‘em, and thank them, and
listen to them for as long as they want to talk to you. Thank you. Thank you,
Mom and Dad…”
The academy should have simply aborted this speech…But these are different
times, you know…
JK, your parents hate you. If
they acted out their hate on you as a little, defenseless boy wonder, would you
still “thank” them today? Prick.
Avoid and abort...Rock Hard
