I love hookers! Back in 1982 when Vice Squad came out, I fantasized what it would be like to be a hooker in Hollywood. Growing up in New York, the idea of even visiting Hollywood seemed to be as elusive as my ever getting laid. So, nearly 20 years later, this asshole was moved out to Hollywood, mere steps from where hookers, hustlers and pimps worked their magic. A few still do, but not the kind I saw in Vice Squad and certainly not the kind of hooker portrayed by Season Hubley. Hubley’s character Princess was my hooker with a heart of…um…well, scratch that. Nothing is known of Princess except she has a kid, is hooker free-lancing and is soon leaving her tawdry LA life for glorious San Diego. Her nights on the streets are winding down but not until some pimp named Ramrod decides he want to kill her for framing him or something. Whatever. We are treated to 90 minutes of nocturnal shenanigoats as Princess turns countless tricks, unaware that this fucked-up fucker is after her. It all takes place in one night and Season Hubley parades through Vice Squad in a violet, polyester dress with a fucked-up sense of anger and pride that should have won her an Oscar but probably just served as some cathartic, about to break up with Kurt Russell, my career is ending and this fucking town has chewed me up and spit me out, experience.
It also showcases the scum of Hollywood in a way that I am sure is exactly as it would have been had I been a hooker in Hollywood, circa 1982. I know this because at the beginning of the movie they say what I am about to watch is based on true stories of the LAPD. I believe them because directly following that disclaimer is the spinning logo for Avco Embassy Pictures.
Fast forward: Season Hubley has vanished from Hollywood, Avco Embassy Pictures is gone and nail salons run by Koreans, pot dispensaries masquerading as pot dispensaries and Armenian widows haggling to buy expired beef with food stamps litter the streets of Hollywood. If anyone knows where Season Hubley is, tell her we need her bad. Warm regards, Rock Hard.
It also showcases the scum of Hollywood in a way that I am sure is exactly as it would have been had I been a hooker in Hollywood, circa 1982. I know this because at the beginning of the movie they say what I am about to watch is based on true stories of the LAPD. I believe them because directly following that disclaimer is the spinning logo for Avco Embassy Pictures.
Fast forward: Season Hubley has vanished from Hollywood, Avco Embassy Pictures is gone and nail salons run by Koreans, pot dispensaries masquerading as pot dispensaries and Armenian widows haggling to buy expired beef with food stamps litter the streets of Hollywood. If anyone knows where Season Hubley is, tell her we need her bad. Warm regards, Rock Hard.
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