Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Precious, or P.S. Your Baby’s Retarded...P.P.S You got the AIDS or Precious 2: The Rise of Mongo:

Is it me or should Mongo, Precious’ first-born, have gotten much more screen time? Seemed to me like this precocious, intellectually delayed wunderkind was aching to upstage an equally retarded Mo’Nique, right? Now, Mo’Nique scared the crap out of my little white ass, but I guess that was the point. She’ll win an Oscar and pretend she never made Soul Plane (my favorite movie of all time). Otherwise, I don’t know what the purpose of Precious is except to make scary black people really scary and make most of the actors who helped Precious seem white. I think most people raised in the ‘70s were “touched”; I know I was, weren’t you? Big deal. But I’m not retarded and you’ll never catch me moaning and groaning to Mariah Carey about it. And how does this spotless, inner-city “alternative” school in 1987 have nice computers in every room? I don’t think so. This ruined an otherwise shitty movie for me. And how the hell is Precious going to raise Mongo AND the new, better baby with no money, a huge appetite, no job and AIDS? Whatever...I saw Precious via a pirated Spirit Awards screener. I want a Spirit Award. You want my Precious screener? Email me and it’s yours, asshole. Until soon, Rock Hard

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